I'm TV fat.

Now, if you knew me, I'm sure you'd say, "No! You're not fat!" and try to reassure me for too long that I'm not fat. But, I didn't say "I'm fat" (although if I were 300 lbs instead of 120, you probably still wouldn't be comfortable admitting I was fat to my face), I said I was TV fat. I'm telling you if I went on Survivor, I'd probably become known as the chubby Mormon mom.

There's a big difference between TV fat and regular fat. To not be fat on TV, you basically have to be borderline anorexic. And the difference between TV fat and TV thin is only about 5 or 10 pounds. A little while ago, US Weekly had a cover called "Flab to Fab" and had a picture of Jessica Simpson looking like she weighed maybe 110 pounds (her 'flab' picture) and one that looked like she weighed 100 (her 'fab' picture).

Look at the people who have been called fat on TV and in magazines like US Weekly:
Kelly Clarkson, Kate Winslet, Alicia Silverstone, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, J. Lo, Melissa Joan Hart, Renee Zellweger, Nicole Richie. None of these girls are probably bigger than a size 4, if that.

Oprah could be listed, but instead of being TV fat, she's Oprah thin. Because we know what she looks like when she is actually fat.

Renee Zellweger gained her weight for a part. But, is Bridget Jones really fat? And, is gaining 20 pounds really a big deal?


I met Connie Chung once. This woman was tiny. I mean, she looked like a fragile twig that you could break in two. Before I met her, I wouldn't have said she was fat, but I would have said she had kind of a wide face, a "TV" fat face. Not in real life.

The thinnest I've ever been is 100 pounds. I was in Japan, working and walking a lot and eating very little. It didn't last very long (because to stay 100 pounds, you don't eat. very. much.), but I liked being TV thin. One of the girls I worked with told me one day, "If you lose anymore weight, you'll wind up in the hospital." That was one of the nicest compliments anyone ever gave me. She meant it as one, and I took it as one. I'd like to think that would not flatter me now.

Anyway, I'm just glad I live in the real world. Because I'm TV ugly, too.