J. Golden Kimball "The Swearing Apostle"
I first heard about "The Swearing Apostle" in Sunday School. Our Sunday School teacher had tons of anecdotes and he liked to talk about him. I don't remember if he quoted him directly or not - I doubt it. I'd forgotten about him until my husband asked me if I'd heard of him.
J. Golden Kimball was the son of Heber C. Kimball and Christeen Golden. He was born in 1853, died in 1938 and was a member of the Seventy, not actually an apostle.
After becoming a General Authority, J. Golden said,
- "Some people say a person receives a position in this church through revelation, and others say they get it through inspiration, but I say they get it through relation. If I hadn't been related to Heber C. Kimball I wouldn't have been a d*mn thing in this church."
- When addressing concerns about the behavior of the youth, Golden told the congregation not to worry about the young people: "They'll be all right. It's all these old bald-headed b*stards on the front row that you need to look out for."
Another time, while in southern Utah to speak at a stake conference, he'd ditched his traveling companion and headed off to a local restaurant for lunch. He was eating - a cup of coffee at the ready - when his companion caught up with him.
Said his horrified and self-righteous companion: "Why Brother Kimball, I'd rather commit adultery than drink a cup of coffee."
To which, J. Golden replied: "Who the h*ll wouldn't."
