I wish I wrote this
Today I was jumping around various blogs, and found a fabulously funny post:
stuff I don't get
These are my favorites:
- Complicated hair processes that are allowed to grow out. Roots look worse than bland hair; weaves starting two inches from the scalp look worse than thin hair.
- "The reason why is because..."
- Acid-washed denim.
- Low-rise jeans that show the high back of thong underwear especially when the lisa-annoyer in question is seated. Please stand up. Please.
- That "literally" is becoming an intensifier instead of a modifier.
"That last minute push for voter turnout had people literally coming out of the woodwork." People fit in woodwork?
"On September 11, 2001, the Earth literally stood still." It did?
"He literally dropped the ball on this project." So much for metaphor. - My college boss watching my friend skip a department lunch to go the gym and saying "I just don't understand that kind of physical compulsion" while without irony puffing on a cigarette.
- An open resting jaw. Shut your teeth, close your lips. Thank you.
- People who say they are going to give 110%. Why not 115% or 1,000%? I don't think you get the concept of 100%.
- Madonna's fake British accent.
- People who say that the only thing they can't tolerate is intolerance. Isn't this just another way of saying anyone who doesn't agree with you?
- The fascination with J.Lo's butt. Go to any mall in America. Big butts are a dime a dozen (and, really, J. Lo's is just "TV" big).
- The success of "Alf".
- Putting bumper stickers on your car at all. They are hard to get off, they are rarely funny or interesting. And it's a sticker. On your car.
- Why so many rich and famous people are borderline anorexic. It's a mixed-up world where movie stars are starving themselves while half the folks who shop at Wal-Mart are obese.
- People who say "I'm nauseous" instead of "I'm nauseated." Maybe it's because I've spent so much time puking myself. Nauseous means to cause nausea. I should probably get over it, because I don't think anyone else cares.
