When I was pregnant with the triplets, I would look for triplet blogs. I found some great ones, but at some point, you've read all the archives and there's no new material. Because the person writing the blog has triplets. I keep meaning to start this up again. For a while, I thought I would write a post officially signing off. But, I also intended to start writing stuff down in my journal. And it hasn't happened. Not even once. So, I'm going to try to do this again (I hope). Just once a month. Just to not lose so many memories.
Britta is talking a lot and no longer takes her nap. She can open our child-proof drawers and cabinets (and last month she got out a pair of scissors and cut off her bangs!). She can get out of her crib, but after a few nights of putting her back in (and putting her back in and putting her back in) she will now stay in her crib at night. In the morning she gets out on her own and comes into our room. She's very stubborn and independent and amazing.
Drake isn't talking much. In fact, he's talking less than he was a few months ago. So, we're trying to give him more one-on-one time and work with him on it more. His favorite thing to do is stand on his head. In his crib, on a wall, on the couch, by the fireplace. He's still the one that wants me the most, but he's happier and more mild these days. If he likes something, he'll put it in his crib. He gets quite a collection going some days.
Jack is still smilin' Jack.He's happy and sweet and starting to talk more and more. When we are out in public he can get kind of crazy. Loud and running all over the place and getting into everything. His diet was about 75% milk and I was worried about that. One day he just stopped drinking milk and now I worry about that. He's the biggest, but he'll let the other two push him around. He's very sweet and has an amazing laugh.
I just watched this and loved it. It's long, but important. If you are interested and want more information, I recommend "Good Calories, Bad Calories" by Gary Taubes and "The Primal Blueprint" by Mark Sisson or check out MarksDailyApple.com. I went off grains and sugar (except on weekends) two months ago and have never felt better.
The little guys are doing great! They are in such a fun phase right now. Their favorite thing to do is play outside. They are happy to just move around woodchips with their little buckets and shovels and run around in the backyard. They are talking more and more. Drake has the least words, but he talks the most (lots of gibberish and hand gestures).
They also love to play in water (we have a little plastic pool) and read books. Their favorite books are Goodnight Gorilla and Dear Zoo. They are at that stage where they love to read the same book over and over. It's a lot of reading! They love to play in their little pop-up tent that looks like a fire engine and with their Tonka dump truck.
They've learned to say their prayers in the last few months and it is so adorable. Jack was the first and he just folds his little arms across his chest off to one side. Drake does now, too, but when he first started he would carefully place his little hands on either side of his face. Britta likes to put her hands on her tummy. When we say "amen" they are all so pleased with themselves that they burst into applause after each prayer. It's amazingly cute.
Luckily, they all love to take baths now. In April I figured out how to give them all three a bath by myself (basically, I tried it and it worked - but the trick at the time was getting Drake in and out first and then letting him play outside the tub while the other two played - because he would just scream the whole time he was in). April 30th was the first time Drake took a bath without crying and screaming (hurray!) and now he happily takes a bath with the other two. He'll even pour water over his head for fun.
Going out to eat has gotten more hectic and we have had a few tantrums which are tough to deal with, but I really feel like we are in a great stage right now with them. I love that they are able to communicate with us better. And, I feel like I get the right amount of time with each one where I can hold them and pay attention to them.
Around 18 months we had some issues with the boys hitting (well, Jack hitting and Drake grabbing the other two by the collar and pulling them down - usually to get something away from them), but we were quick to stop them and give them firm no's and we did a few time outs. They seemed a little young for it at the time, but it seems to have worked. I can't remember the last time they hit each other (none of my kids have been inclined toward biting, thankfully). They are all very considerate and kind to each other. Whenever they share or give something to each other, we try to do a lot of positive reinforcement and make a big deal out of it ("Britta's so nice! Yaay!"). Jack is the one who seems the most naturally inclined to sharing (if Britta or Drake is sad, he'll be the first to try to give them a bottle or toy to try to make them happy), but they all do it. I thought have three the same age would make sharing harder, but they seem to be learning to do it because have a lot of practice!
We took our first family vacation with them last month and it was pretty hard. It was totally worth the trip and definitely fun to see family and friends and the babies actually did really well on the planes and in the car, but I think we were just gone too long (11 days) and it's just that much more tiring to take care of them all day long without being at home.
I've liked looking back on our schedules in the past, so I'm going to end with our typical schedule at 22 months:
7 pm - 8 am: sleep
8 am: bottle, change diapers, play (we often go directly outside), breakfast
9:30 am: play more or go for a walk
11:30 am: lunch
12:00 pm: small bottle, watch TV, change diapers
12:30- 2:30 or 3 pm: nap
3 pm: change diapers, snack and play (this is the time we'll take them to the store or to a park)
5 pm: dinner
5:30-6:30 pm: play, take a bath (not daily, but pretty often)
Something about 20 months sounds so much closer to being two than 19 months did. I still feel amazed that we are doing this and actually doing a pretty job by the kids. They are all happy and healthy and just, you know, OKAY.
Britta is still just into everything. She can climb into her high chair now. She loves to climb on everything. She's so smart. She will get her shoes if it's time to go. She'll get the boys' shoes, too. She'll try to help with changing diapers. She says bye-bye, more, scooter, dada, mama, shoes.
Drake loves to talk gibberish. He is a sweet thoughtful boy. He's a little on the serious side. He says bye bye, more, mama, and scooter.
Jack is funny. He is so big and happy and interested in other people. He's always cracking us up. He says uh oh, bye bye, more, scooter, dada.
At the gym yesterday I saw two different moms with twins and I felt this odd pang of jealousy. I say odd because if I'm going to feel jealous, doesn't it make more sense to be jealous of someone with only one child? Both of those moms were by themselves and neither seemed particular out of sorts, but I know they were feeling a little more stressed out because they had two babies to care for.
Ah, the world of multiples is a tough one. It's hard to try to convey it. I know when I was pregnant I just couldn't really imagine how it was all going to work. Once the babies are here, I just had to jump in and do it, but the doing is harder than you can really put into words. I'm thankful we are past the midnight feedings and the burping and the spitting up and the constant work of it. 20 months feels like a pretty good place.
I came across a blog last week that gave advice for having a better marriage and I was thinking about it during my run today. They were recommending stuff like change where you sit during mealtimes and switch up your chores. Okay. My advice would run differently than stuff that sounds like get-to-know-you games.
Before the babies were born, I felt like being married was easy. It wasn't something that we had to work at. David is funny and sweet and interesting and easy to be with. He still is, but the stress of taking care of triplets does take it toll. Before babies, I would've said the secrets to a happy marriage are: don't take each other for granted, don't fight, and get on the same page as far as finances. Now I have a longer list:
1) Don't take each other for granted. This still goes at the top of the list. Say thank you (literally say it) and recognize all the things the other person does. When you have stresses come up in life (and even when you don't), it's good to feel appreciated.
2) Be kind. Look at situations from the other person's point of view. Easier said than done sometimes, but I know when I'm upset with David about something if I imagine the roles reversed it always helps. I can look at things more objectively and we can talk things out more rationally.
3) Don't fight. Don't say mean things. If you do, don't waste time stewing. Apologize. We've been great about not fighting since we were first married. Because David hates it. I've had to learn to bite my tongue and if anyone trips up on this, it's me. But it's a great way to be. I think the rest is self-explanatory.
4) Take care of yourself. Eat right and exercise. Get enough sleep. Take time for yourself every day. When you feel good, you are less likely to be irritable and moody and it's easier to be patient. Stress can make it easy to turn to crap food, but it's just counter-productive. Feeling guilty about not doing this stuff is counter-productive, too. Make a reasonable plan that fits your life and do the best you can.
5) Feed your kids well. Make sure they get enough sleep. If your kids are eating real food every day and getting good sleep, they'll be less cranky and easier to care for.
6) People are more important than money. Get out of debt. Have a budget. Make a plan. Get in sync about what you want to spend your money on and what you want to save your money for.
7) Talk Take the time to talk to each other. About the future, about what's out of balance in your lives, about where you want to be, but also about politics and jokes and stupid stuff.
8) Bedtimes and Babysitters Giving kids (especially little kids) an early bedtime is a great way to make sure they get enough sleep and that you get enough time with each other. Getting regular babysitters gives you another way to reconnect.
Well, that list seemed a lot more interesting during my run, but there it is.
It's harder and harder to get a decent photo of the three of them together, because they are always taking off in three different directions. I only picked this one because Jack looks so happy!
The babies are at a great phase right now. Today, this minute, they are sick which is not so great (although they are also sleeping - any sickness where they don't lose their nap is not so bad). They are just busy as anything and some days their 7 pm bedtime is the thing that gets me through. But, they are also learning to talk and imitating us and it's all just so much fun.
My favorite time of the day is when I take them upstairs for playtime in the morning. They can all climb now and I love watching all three of them climb the stairs by themselves. They are just so darn cute, but also capable and independent.
My favorite thing about them right now is they are all very good about sharing. Not that they don't fight over toys - boy howdy they can get upset about wanting things and snatch them away from each other like you wouldn't believe. But, they will share and they are often very caring towards each other. If one is crying, another will bring them a toy or a blanket to help out. I didn't expect that so soon and I love it.
Jack is the one that is the talking the most and trying out words the most. That surprises me because Britta has been first at almost everything else so far. The word they all use the most is "oooh" as in "Scooter" and they call every dog they see "oooh ooooh". Britta uses anything and everything as a purse. If it has some sort of a handle, she'll loop it over her arm and walk around. So girly and sweet. Drake is the dancer. They all love music and they all love to dance, but Drake really gets into it. He loves cords and phones, too.
All watching TV and looking a little glazed over
They are just starting to watch TV. Jack is definitely the most interested. They don't stay interested for a whole episode (which is good), but it's funny to be heading back to the Sesame Street and Barney phase.
They went to nursery at church for the first time a few weeks ago and things went about as expected (I haven't left them yet - I want them to be comfortable with the place first). Britta was off and about and exploring and didn't look twice at us. Jack was off and about and exploring and checked back from time to time. Drake stayed by my side the whole time and got upset a few times. Last week, I left for the last hour and David stayed and they all did fine. I think that Drake will be a little sad no matter when we decide to make the break, but I also think he'll figure out that it's okay.
I love that it's getting warm outside and we can take them out more. They really love just roaming around outside. Triplets are hard, but it's all so worth it.
The babies are great. Getting easier and bigger every day it seems like. I feel like as they get easier my capacity to deal with the tough days goes down. I don't know if that makes sense, but the first year was so intense and involved such a huge amount of energy to just get through that I no longer feel like I can keep that up. At all. And when I need to, I find it harder to make myself do it.
With the economic slow-down, I've been purposely turning away any potential clients that lessen the service of my existing clients, and it's been fantastic to work less. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to do that when the babies were tiny. I can do it when it's in my clients' best interests, but not when it's mine. Crazy.
I got on facebook a few months ago and talk about crazy. I've gotten in touch with so many people from high school and college that I thought I'd never see again. It's been a lot of fun, and not as hard to find the time for as I thought it would be. If you haven't checked out facebook yet, I recommend it. Be warned, it will blow your mind a little bit.
Drake has 16 teeth, Britta has 14 and Jack has 7. Everybody is running around and dancing. Drake has finally learned how to climb stairs. They all talk a lot of gibberish and have a few real words (mama, hi, no) but don't use them much. Our days are still pretty rigidly scheduled and it's hard when anything new comes up. But, life is good.
Okay, so this was pretty disjointed. But, I'm too tired to try to make it cohesive right now. Maybe next month.
Driving home the other day Als das Kind Kind war popped into my head. For a second I didn't remember what it was from. It's from Wings of Desire which was once my favorite film (may still be, but I haven't seen it in 20 years, probably). I looked it up when I got up home and found this translation. So beautiful.
When the child was a child It walked with its arms swinging, wanted the brook to be a river, the river to be a torrent, and this puddle to be the sea.
When the child was a child, it didn't know that it was a child, everything was soulful, and all souls were one.
When the child was a child, it had no opinion about anything, had no habits, it often sat cross-legged, took off running, had a cowlick in its hair, and made no faces when photographed.
When the child was a child, It was the time for these questions: Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here, and why not there? When did time begin, and where does space end? Is life under the sun not just a dream? Is what I see and hear and smell not just an illusion of a world before the world? Given the facts of evil and people. does evil really exist? How can it be that I, who I am, didn't exist before I came to be, and that, someday, I, who I am, will no longer be who I am?
When the child was a child, It choked on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding, and on steamed cauliflower, and eats all of those now, and not just because it has to.
When the child was a child, it awoke once in a strange bed, and now does so again and again. Many people, then, seemed beautiful, and now only a few do, by sheer luck.
It had visualized a clear image of Paradise, and now can at most guess, could not conceive of nothingness, and shudders today at the thought.
When the child was a child, It played with enthusiasm, and, now, has just as much excitement as then, but only when it concerns its work.
When the child was a child, It was enough for it to eat an apple, … bread, And so it is even now.
When the child was a child, Berries filled its hand as only berries do, and do even now, Fresh walnuts made its tongue raw, and do even now, it had, on every mountaintop, the longing for a higher mountain yet, and in every city, the longing for an even greater city, and that is still so, It reached for cherries in topmost branches of trees with an elation it still has today, has a shyness in front of strangers, and has that even now. It awaited the first snow, And waits that way even now.
When the child was a child, It threw a stick like a lance against a tree, And it quivers there still today.
That's a pretty simple summary of a lot of work, a lot of toys being thrown around, and a lot of diapers being changed. I'm planning to get rid of that second bottle before their nap. We're still doing formula, but when we're done with what we have on hand, we're switching to whole milk. We also need to get working on sippy cups so we can just be done with the bottles. But they are easy and Jack loves them (Britta is just about done with them, she drinks a little and Jack usually takes the rest). Also, they throw their sippy cups around more than they drink from them.
Everyone's walking (and dancing! we have a cute video of all three bouncing to Coldplay's Viva La Vida). Now that they are down to one nap, they have started sleeping around 13 hours a night, which is really amazing!
Christmas was fun. The babies favorite toys were a big Tonka trunk (they like to get in and get pushed around and push each other around) and some stacking rings. The big girls had a nice Christmas too - despite the fact that we did not get Grace a cell phone for Christmas!
They all have their little sounds that they make. Drake likes to say "bah bah bah" and Jack says "dah dah" (he also likes to lightly hit Scooter and discipline him which might get him in trouble one day) and Britta likes to buzz (and say oooo for Scooter). They all say mama and they all give kisses (Britta makes the cutest smacking noise when she does). So far, they really do seem to be getting easier as they get older.
I wrote this a couple of months ago and don't know why I never published it. Not that it's good, but pretty much everything I throw out here these days is kind of haphazard.
You know how a lot of women just can't say no? And, they always have tons of important stuff to do? Yeah, that was never me. I like my free time. I want to have time to relax, to be with my family and to read books. Since the babies, I've had to settle for finding a little time to relax and being with my family. Reading is one of the many things that has gotten pushed down on the priority list, because when you have 5,000 things to do - and only time to do 500 - something has to give.
I said in one of my last posts that I have let tons of stuff slide. And I have. But, I was thinking I need to give myself credit for all the things that I do manage to get done. Just taking care of the babies is a lot. Just taking care of my business is a lot. Throwing in taking care of the older girls and feeding everyone on top of that is a lot. I've had to find new ways to get the important things done and the main thing is prioritizing (and for the first few months of the babies lives it also meant just going all the time). Here's some things I've figured out.
Family Prayer and Family Home Evening and Reading Scriptures Before the babies we said family prayer every night, we were okay at FHE and reading scriptures. We'd have phases where we were doing it and phases where we weren't. After the babies were born, all of it went out the window. In January, we had a lesson in church called "Good, Better, Best" (based on a talk by Dallin Oaks) and we discussed how sometimes we forego the best things in life because we are too busy with good things. It got me thinking that these three things are really important to our family cohesion and our spirituality and we need to find time to do them.
First, we made family prayer a part of the babies' bedtime routine. After they are fed, changed and their teeth are brushed, we say family prayer and then they go to bed. I like this because it's a time of day that I never forget to get to and I also like that the babies are part of it.
Second, I made a Family Home Evening task wheel. And it totally works. And it's totally fun. And the thing that keeps it working is the TREATS. I never had treats as part of FHE before (Friday and Saturday night are our treat nights and I didn't want to have a third night), but it's really worth it. Everybody looks forward to their week that they are in charge of treats and they even look forward to their turn to be in charge of the activity. It's been a great bonding time for the four of us, and we've done so much fun stuff that David and I probably would have said we were too tired to do if it wasn't Family Home Evening. There's nothing like a fun game of Statues, Dots, or Dance Dance Revolution to get your energy back up, though. A fun idea that I did a few weeks ago was to take videos of everyone recalling their earliest memory. It was easy and fun.
We are still working on the third one. We are working our way through the New Testament and up until school started we were doing pretty well. I have a little chart that we cross off chapters after we read them, but I need to find a time that clicks better for us. Since school has started I don't usually think of it until we are almost ready for bed and everyone is tired. During the summer we did it around 9:30 or so before we started reading our own books for the night, but now it's a little late.
Housekeeping I have a cleaning service that comes every other week. I declutter the day before and the day they come, but this is just a surface decluttering.
After the babies go down, I take 10 minutes and pick up the whole house. So, a few hours every night the house is in order. No matter how tired I am, I always pick up. I feel like if I let it go one night, I'll never be able to stay on top of it. That, and I can't even relax until it's done.
Before I got pregnant, I was good about decluttering. But I had this weird system of stashing and decluttering. I would systemically go through the house one room at a time and declutter. But often while I was decluttering one room, I would stash the stuff in another room. I would get to it in my rounds of decluttering and it all worked out in the end, but I just don't have time for that kind of thing anymore. I was talking to a friend about Flylady (which. I just cannot stand their website. It's organized so horribly and that "flylady" cartoon just annoys me. Why can't they just put a photo of a well-lit clean room on the webpage?) and she was recommending I declutter for just 10 minutes a day after the babies go down. I thought I can do that. And then the rest of the day was just a mad rush and pull to get everything done. When the babies went down and I had spent 10 minutes or so picking up the idea of decluttering for 10 more minutes was just too much. I hadn't stopped since I got home from the gym and it was finally time to stop.
But I needed to get to this stuff.
So, I came up with a new two-second plan. And, so far it's working. That's right, I'm going to write a book titled: Declutter your home in Two Seconds. I started with my closet. The idea is that every time I'm in my closet I take two seconds to hang up something or throw away something - just something that makes my closet better, not worse. It took a day of that to put almost all of my clothes away. And another day to get most of the junk out of there. And another day to get most of the stuff that I need to give away out. Now, I just need to stay on top of it. Put away clean laundry and don't stash anything new in there anymore.
Now, I'm doing the same thing with my junk drawer. When I feel like those places are habits, I'm going to do the same thing with closets around the house. That's a little trickier because I'll have to deliberately open the closet for my two-second clean up from time to time.
The next step is to get my kids to form better habits.
The babies are all walking now! Drake took his first steps about two weeks ago and he's hobbling all over the place now. It feels really good to have all of them hit this milestone. Jack and Britta have also started dancing! It's just the sweetest and funniest thing ever! I can't wait to have three dancing babies.
Britta is just the easiest little girl. I swear she only cries when it's time to go to sleep and when something gets taken away from her. I was worried about her when they all got sick, because she's the littlest and doesn't have much extra on her frame. But, she got the least sick of all of them and once she was better, actually has developed a little belly. I don't know why, but I like it!
Drake has 15 teeth now. 15! No wonder that little guy is crabbier than the other two! (Britta has 8 and Jack has 6). He has seemed a lot happier ever since he started walking. I'm thinking: not being sick, not teething for once, and actually being able to get around must be working in his favor.
Jack is just happy Jack. Except he does seem to be a little more sensitive than the other two. He's usually happy, but when he's not he really is just so darn sad. He is the most attached to David (I think that's pretty cool for him - the older girls always looked to David for fun, but I was the one they wanted when they were sick or sad). He cries whenever David leaves.
They have dropped their first nap. It's a little frustrating because some days it seems like they still need it and some days they don't. But, we decided today that it's time to just have one nap. In some ways, I think it will be better to have one longer nap than two shorter naps.
They were all sick - stomach flu sick - for the first time two weeks ago. It was terrible. The worst that things have been since they were newborn. Taking care of three babies is hard on normal days, but when you're not getting sleep and they are throwing up and having to be changed every 10 minutes, it quickly gets unbearable. Except you don't have any other options. I'm very happy that things are now back to being simply hard. And, you know what? Today was actually just kind of fun. It wasn't that hard at all. And, the older they get the more of those days we get.
Monday/Wednesday/Friday: Endurance Stretch Upper Body Weights (I skip weights on Friday) Run (usually 4-6 miles) Ab Work Stretch/Massage with Foam Roller
Tuesday/Thursday: Intensity Stretch Lower Body Weights (3 sets of 10 each) - lunges - squats - crossover lunges - plie squats with leg raises Plyometric Exercises (3 sets of 10 each - no weights) - jumping lunges - jumping squats - skaters - jumping plie squats - side to side jumps The Tabata Protocol - walk 5 minutes (8 incline/3.5 mph) - max sprint 20 seconds (8 incline/7 mph) - walk 30 seconds - repeat sprinting and walking for 4 minutes - walk 5 minutes I run/walk stairs until I'm totally wiped out Stretch/Massage with Foam Roller
Monday/Wednesday/Friday workouts are actually much longer, but the Tuesday/Thursday ones are pretty hardcore. I just started doing "The Tabata Protocol" and I love it. It's only 4 minutes, but it is intense. If you decide to try it, have a water bottle and a towel handy because you will sweat more in those 4 minutes than you thought possible. Also, do your max sprint speed, not mine. When I started, my max speed was 6 mph (and I'd been doing minute long sprints on an incline a few times a week for 6 months). The Tabata Protocol was actually originally for speed skating, but you can apply it to almost anything (I watched some Crossfit folks doing Tabata squats on YouTube, but I don't think I'm ready for that yet).
The "ab work" isn't much because I have some muscle separation and I need to be careful not to make it worse. Lately, I've been doing these exercises I found here, but I don't push it.
I was just thinking that I started exercising again just about a year ago. I hadn't exercised in a year and I had been on strict bedrest for 10 weeks and limited activity for 8 months. I certainly wasn't up for sprints. I started exercising when the babies were two months old and at first I was just walking, for maybe 15 minutes at a time. I slowly increased my time at the gym (and on the elliptical at home).
When the babies were seven months old I decided I wanted to push myself more and I picked up Jillian Michaels' book Making the Cut. Her workouts are incredibly varied and mix weight lifting with calisthenics and sprinting (alternating flat and inclines sprints). The idea is that High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) challenges you more, increases your fitness level faster and boosts your metabolism (there's also some research that indicates HIIT suppresses your appetite while steady cardio increases it). Her book has a 30 day routine and I did it twice and then I just started doing my own thing and that has evolved into this workout routine. The first time I did one of her uphill sprints (10 incline/5.5 mph) I seriously thought I was going to puke (and I went slower the next time!).
I don't plan on doing it forever, though. I think the secret (for me) with working out is to change up what I do so that I don't get bored and so I'm challenging myself in different ways.
I have also found that motivates me is not my weight. I have always managed to maintain a decent weight, but I have also always felt like I would like to lose "just 5 more pounds". When I picked up Jillian Michaels' book that was actually my goal. Just 5 more pounds. But, about a week into it, I realized that even if I lost 5 pounds, I would still probably want to lose 5 more and that was a silly way to live my life. I just decided to be happy with where I am at. And, for some reason I feel way more motivated at the gym now. I guess because I'm doing it because I want to and because it feels good (not just long term, but in the moment and then throughout the day afterwards). I find if I just focus on feeling good, a lot of things fall into the right place.
I'm surprised how good I've felt since election night. It just feels like all this negative energy is just gone (I don't mean that in a new agey way, but whatever). It's nice that it's over and done. And I'm happy for Obama and his family. I thought Obama's speech was great. My favorite part of the night was watching Michelle and the two girls skip off the stage.
32 months and something
