Friday, May 25, 2007
when it comes to the competition, i got none
I don't read much anymore. Nighttime used to be my time to read, but with this pregnancy it's my time to feel queasy and tired. In January I read Anne of Green Gables (at Grace's recommendation) and enjoyed it. I'm sure I would have loved it as a kid. I read Anne Tyler's Celestial Navigation and it was very good, but it took a little to get into it (everything and everyone was so musty and off, it just bothered me) and I was very dissatisfied with the ending. When I was first pregnant (but didn't know it yet), I read The Birthdays by Heidi Pitlor. It's a book about three siblings. The oldest son is dealing with his conflicting emotions about his wife's pregnancy (he is paralyzed and the wife was inseminated by a donor), the next oldest son's wife is pregnant with twins after IVF, and the youngest sister is pregnant but doesn't know who the father is. It was a good book, but not great. Each of the characters were very real, but flawed to the point where they were never very likeable.

After I found out I was pregnant with triplets, I read I Sleep at Red Lights by Bruce Stockler. It was a funny, enjoyable book about having triplets. I also read When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, which has proven to be a useful resource.

My latest read was Raising Multiple Birth Children and I enjoyed it, but it gave me much more of a sense of panic. Most of the book portrays life with triplets as insanely hectic and outrageously hard. I'm not saying that I think it won't be, but I'm looking for tips on how to reduce that, not a medal for what I'm going to go through. There was this attitude of look how hard I have it as a parent. I understand that to a point (get together with any group of mothers and eventually you'll hear all the horror stories about their labors - you go through something like that, you want to talk about it). But, frankly, I'm kind of tired of the whole idea that parenting is some sort of a competition.

One quote that really bothered me was "I laugh when I see those singleton parents who look like sleep-deprived marathon runners with one child in their grocery cart." Excuse me? How can this person assume her life as a triplet mother is always harder? She doesn't know anything about that "singleton" parent. Maybe she has four more kids at home. Maybe her baby has colic. Maybe she is totally sleep-deprived.

They also made a big deal about the fact that people will tell you that they have an idea of what you're going through because they had three little ones in diapers, but "it's not the same". Sure, it's not the same, but it's close. And, for many, maybe even harder. My sister-in-law at one point had a two year old, a one year old, and a newborn. That's beyond tough. My hairdresser (and my good blogging friend, Jen) had a young toddler and newborn twins. I think that could be harder than triplets, because one is mobile. They are in different stages, which would be really hard.

And, all babies are different. If I have three babies like Lillie (she was always very content and slept through the night at just a few months old) it will be very different from three babies like Grace (she cried a lot, didn't sleep through the night consistently until she was two, and I walked her for miles and miles).

I guess we're all just trying to make sense of the world. But, I'm tired of adults trying to one-up each other with their stuff and their hardships and their choices. I suppose all I can do is try not to fall into that myself. Talk to me in five months, I guess.
posted by lochan | link
6 comments and fresh takes

Name: Laura

I have five kids including triplets. I'm too busy to blog, but I do anyway (uh, sometimes).

Learn more about me



My Antonia
by Willa Cather

June

Sarah's Quilt
by Nancy Turner

May

Maus
by Art Spiegelman


Housekeeping
by Marilynne Robinson

April

These Is My Words
by Nancy Turner


The Myth of You and Me
by Leah Stewart

March

Inconceivable
by Ben Elton


Songbook
by Nick Hornby


Follies
by Ann Beattie


Hungry Planet

February

About a Boy
by Nick Hornby


High Fidelity
by Nick Hornby


Stargirl
by Jerry Spinelli

January

Revolutionary Road
by Richard Yates


Morality for Beautiful Girls
by Alexander McCall Smith


A Long Way Down
by Nick Hornby


How to be Good
by Nick Hornby


Mere Christianity
by C. S. Lewis

December
Click here for a free Book of Mormon
The Book of Mormon

Good Faith
The Know-It-All
by A. J. Jacobs

Good Faith
Endurance
by Alfred Lansing

November
Good Faith
The Secret Life of Bees
by Sue Monk Kidd

September

Kite Runner
by Khaled Hosseini


The Good Earth
by Pearl S. Buck

August

Freedom of Simplicity
by Richard Foster


Pride and Prejudice
by Jane Austen

July

Celebration of Discipline
by Richard J. Foster

Peace Like A River
Peace Like A River
by Leif Enger

Things Fall Apart
Things Fall Apart
by Chinua Achebe

Gap Creek
Gap Creek
by Robert Morgan

June
Life of Pi
Life of Pi
by Yann Martel

My Name is Asher Lev
My Name is Asher Lev
by Chaim Potok

A Prayer for Owen Meany
A Prayer for Owen Meany
by John Irving

All New People
All New People
by Anne Lamott

May
Patrimony
Patrimony: A True Story
by Philip Roth

Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters
Raise High the Roof Beam, Carpenters
by J. D. Salinger

Good Faith
Good Faith
by Jane Smiley

Cradle and Crucible
Cradle and Crucible History and Faith in the Middle East
by National Geographic Society

April
Saturday
Saturday
by Ian McEwan

Blue Shoe
Blue Shoe
by Anne LaMott

Emma
Emma
by Jane Austen

Operation Shylock
Operation Shylock
by Philip Roth

March
Jane Austen: A Life
Jane Austen: A Life
by Claire Tomalin

To See and See Again
To See and See Again
by Tara Bahrampour

Reading L0l1ta in Tehran
Reading L0l1ta in Tehran
by Azar Nafisi

February
A Thomas Jefferson Education
A Thomas Jefferson Education
by Oliver Van Demille

Still Alive
Still Alive
by Ruth Kluger

The Screwtape Letters
Not The Germans Alone
by Isaac Levendel

Still Alive
World War II: A Photographic History
by David Boyle

The Screwtape Letters
The Screwtape Letters
by C.S. Lewis

Persuasion
Persuasion
by Jane Austen

January
Climbing Parnassus
Climbing Parnassus
by Tracey Lee Simmons

With the Old Breed
With The Old Breed
by E. B. Sledge

All But My Life
All But My Life
by Gerda Weissmann Klein

We Die Alone
We Die Alone
by David Howarth