I am a homeschooling mom.

When Grace was three I decided I wanted to homeschool. We regularly went to a homeschool park day and I liked what I saw there. I read a lot of books about homeschooling and that got me excited about it.

When Grace was five our school district was pretty crappy and I just didn't even consider having her start kindergarten. Most of the people I knew homeschooling were unschoolers, but I discovered The Well Trained Mind and we started doing history based on that. Grace liked math workbooks and we went to a science co-op and we read a lot.

As time went on we veered farther away from the unschooling mindset (although it still gives me comfort and informs a lot of our choices - because I do believe that a child won't really learn about something they don't care about). I found the more I followed the Well Trained Mind, the better our structured time went.

The last few years have really been fantastic. Last year we lived next door to a homeschooling family and we did science together. This year we've been more isolated during school hours, but I've enjoyed the quieter time together. We have discovered a homeschooling group here that we like. We started Latin and the girls are continuing to do well with Spanish. History is our favorite time of the morning. The girls have requested that we do it every day instead of just three days a week. This year I have required a lot more of writing of Grace and she has stepped up to the challenge.

I love having my girls home with me every day. I love looking at curriculum, planning our days and weeks, going on field trips. I like that our life centers on our family, we can do what we want when we want. I love that our girls are so close and spend so much time together.

I have never thought too long or too hard about when or if the girls will go to public school. I have homeschool friends who are adamantly anti-public school, but I'm not. I went to public school and overall I liked it. My feeling has simply been that there are pros and cons to each. There are certain experiences my kids won't have because they don't go to public school. And if I put them in public school there are experiences they miss out on by not homeschooling. I always figured we would continue to homeschool just as long as it was working for us.

It's still working, but things are changing.

About six months ago, David first brought up the idea of putting the girls in school. He wants them to have those common experiences with other kids. He can't imagine them homeschooling through high school (I can) and he thinks it will be an easier transition to do it now than wait for middle school or high school.

I think the main thing is that if David were a kid again he would want to go to school. If I were, I would totally choose to homeschool. But, the girls' experiences won't be mine or David's.

This is the first time we disagreed on something and there really wasn't a way to compromise. We talked and talked about it and finally decided that if they could get into one of the smaller charter schools we would try it. The girls were up for it, which made it easier.

We didn't get into the first two charter schools we applied to. We did get into the third. I wasn't sure how I would feel if they got in. I was afraid I would start crying, but I actually felt pretty good about it. The girls were excited when they found out. They are a little anxious about how it's going to be because they really have no idea what they are in for, but they are looking forward to it.

I have cried since then, because this is just so new for me. But, I honestly think this will be harder on me than it is for the girls. I hope it's a good experience for them.

As far as schools go, I think this one should be really good. Not that we can actually know anything until we do it, but on paper it seems like a great school. It's a small school and their curriculum choices are surprisingly close to what we are doing.

I know the biggest factor to whether or not they'll be happy in school is the friends they make and I can't control that, but hopefully that will all just fall into place.

It still a little surreal to me that we are doing this. I can think about it and be happy and I can look at it another way and start to get sad. Because I'll completely miss having them around. Now, I have to figure out what to do with the extra hours in my day. I will volunteer at their school, help with homework, dedicate more time to my work, do what other moms do, I guess. I have to figure out my new identity.

But, I'll always be a mom. That's the part that really matters.