the corners of my mind
I have three pictures of myself as a baby, one of me at two, and a couple more at four. 1974 was a banner year. I have a picture of me on vacation at the lake, a kindergarten picture, and a fuzzy picture with my sister (although that may be 1975).
I vaguely remember having this picture taken. We would go to a cabin every summer at a lake and I remember picking these yellow flowers.
When I was eight, we moved to this town. I loved living on the lake. I like where we live right now, but if I could choose anywhere to live, I would live on a lake with a canoe. There's swimming in the summer, ice skating in the winter, and biking, walking, or running around the lake almost anytime. Just sitting by the lake or on the dock is meditative.
We had an old sailboat, a small motorboat, a snowmobile, and a couple of canoes. This provided all the fun times we could ask for.
One summer, my older brother and I got up early every morning (probably just for a week or so) and went fishing. I loved coming home with fish and scaling and gutting them, but I never ate one. We'd see how far into the lake we could swim. We would get out on the lake in the canoe, tip it, and then practice getting the canoe right side up with as little water in it as possible. One time we came home from a family trip very early in the morning. My sister and I decided to go down to the dock and watch the sun rise over the lake.
I like thinking of myself walking around the lake with my brothers and sister. I can picture myself walking around the lake at different times in my life - junior high, high school, summers home from college. I thought I'd bring my kids to that house, to that lake. But, my parents moved away and I haven't been back since Grace was a baby.
This is my kindergarten picture. The dress is pretty funky.
I don't really remember kindergarten that well. I remember the room, how everything was set up. I remember playing with blocks. I remember a few of the kids. I liked school alright, but I also remember day dreaming about blowing up the school.
We were close enough to walk to school, and I clearly remember the path we took. We walked through about 5 different yards to take the straightest route. When we moved, we took the bus. When I got into junior high, I would regularly walk home instead of taking the bus. I liked walking around the lake home. Driving myself home in my crappy blue Granada isn't a nice fuzzy memory, but at the time it was way better.
I wish this picture were clearer. I love it. It makes me smile, but it makes me feel a little sad, too. This is before we moved, and I remember this house so well. I remember laying on that black couch (which in my mind was huge) when I was sick. Mom would come home for lunch and check on me.
I don't remember that desk. I do remember sitting in the basement in one of those small rockers (so it was probably before 1974) watching Adam-12 while peeling and eating an orange. I remember playing with my sister and brother and whenever we couldn't decide what to play, we would all make lists (making lists was one of our favorite games) and we would write things like: Cops and Robbers, Cowboys and Indians, Teenagers.
I remember the steep green stairs that led to the basement, the striped carpeting and wood paneling in the basement. The long hallway upstairs. When my oldest brother put a black light in his room. Watching Sesame Street and I Love Lucy by myself and James Bond movies with my brothers and sister.
My kindergarten year, my Gram lived with us. I remember she fed me plums and milk. I had to take a nap every day, and one day I decided to try a trick I had seen on The Brady Bunch. I put pillows under my bed to look like my body and I put a blond wig where the head would be. I then went to the neighbor's house to play. I was on their back patio and I remember the fear in my heart when my Gram came marching up to the house. Yeah, I never tried that again.
