Friday, February 17, 2006
what do I hear?


A person hears only what they understand.
-Goethe

I don't think I have experienced sexism in my life. Sure, I've met a few dorks who think they are better than women, but that just seems like their insecurities showing. None of these said dorks have had any authority over me or made choices that affected my life. I've also met women who think they are better than men by virtue of their gender. I don't get that either. It seems less insidious, but I'm not sure it is.

My mother went to college and worked. Both of my grandmothers went to college and worked. From the time I was little I wanted to be a stay at home mom. As I got older, I hoped that I could somehow work and stay home. I wasn't sure if I would be able to, but I have. Besides a few months here and there, I have always worked since I married. I have not worked in an office since Grace was 3 months old and I haven't had a job interview since 1992. I don't expect to ever work for someone else again in my life. I feel lucky to be self-employed.

I am thankful that I have been able to work and still be at home and be with my kids. My work is just a small section of my life, and I don't value it that much. What I do for no pay has far more worth to me. But, honestly, I don't know how it would feel not to earn an income. I think that would be a somewhat scary place to be, but I think I could get used to it.

I have always felt that I have had choices. My mother and grandmother had choices. I don't know anyone personally who is limited because they are a woman. Maybe I just don't see it, because I like my life and I'm happy with my choices. That, and my husband does all the laundry and shares a lot of the chores around the house despite the fact that his job is more stressful than mine. I might be more pissy about the whole issue if he didn't.

I don't primarily identify myself as a feminist because I'm uncomfortable with a lot of the feminist rhetoric out there, the main feminist agenda seems to be keeping abortions legal, and I don't feel like my legal rights are affected because of my gender.

I would identify myself as a staunch feminist if I felt my legal rights were affected by my gender.

I do identify myself a feminist in terms of validating women's experiences and girl stuff. I think they are often de-valued. I identify myself as a feminist if that means that women should have equal opportunity and choices.

I know that historically women have been very limited. Women have only had the vote for 86 years in this country. I'm thankful to the women who fought for that right, and the men who finally allowed it. I recognize that women's legal rights in other countries are often very limited. I recently watched a PBS show on bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan. That kind of gender discrimination blows my mind. Like bride burning in India. Or, the fate of many baby girls in China. Or the fact that women can't even drive in Saudi Arabia. Or, that worldwide the literacy rate for women is much lower than it is for men.

I think maybe in the end it is really just a matter of what label you are comfortable with. And, the label is the least important part.
posted by lochan | link
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Name: Laura

I have five kids including triplets. I'm too busy to blog, but I do anyway (uh, sometimes).

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