23 Dec 1980
i wonder how many kids i'll have. at the VERY LEAST 4. i plan on 6, a dog + a cat too of course. my house will probably be kinda sloppy. i'll keep it pretty clean but that's my style. S. (my sis) wants 3 kids (or maybe 4 but that's it) no pets. clean as a pin house.

This was my idea of my future at age 11. If you knew my sister and I, this is pretty funny. I have less kids and a cleaner house than my sister does. I wish I could remember the conversation between my sister and I about this.

There were six kids in my family growing up, and keeping our rooms clean wasn't a big priority for my mom. Sure, now and again we would have to clean up, but usually she just had bigger and better things on her mind. My room was usually kind of sloppy. Nothing outrageous, but about how you'd expect a kid to keep it.

I married a man who is neat. David's very clean and he notices stuff. He does a lot of the chores around the house. It's great. I think most guys are kind of clueless about that kind of thing.

So, we keep our house pretty clean. After 14 years of marriage, sloppy is no longer my signature "style". I'm not the perfect housekeeper. My house is not immaculate. But, generally we keep it picked up and clean and I try to go through the little piles of junk that collect pretty regularly.

A few years ago, David went on a trip with some friends and the whole time he was gone I let the place go. I mean, I let it go - in a big way. Crap piled up, dishes weren't done. Everything was a mess. The day before he came home, I cleaned everything up and by the time he came back, things were back to normal.

I had to ask, Is this my true self? Without David, would my house be a complete wreck?

A few months ago, David went out of town again. This time, I kept my normal routine. I did not let the house go. I thought about this. Is this just a part of me now? Maybe. But, it probably has more to do with the fact that my girls are both five years older. I'm not running after two little ones. They are good at making their own beds in the morning, putting their own dishes away, and picking up after themselves. This makes my job easier.

The one place in the house that is pretty much a constant wreck is my closet. David's side is organized and everything is in it's place. On my side there are clothes shoved around haphazardly, things hanging out of the shelves, clothes hung over the bottom rung. I clean it up from time to time, but it quickly goes back to its natural state. And, I like it that way. I like that this is my personal space that I can keep in any kind of crappy condition I like. If I spent more time there and actually wanted to hang out there, I'd feel differently about it. But I don't, so I don't care. What I'd really like is a bunch of hooks (like that Seinfeld episode) so I didn't have to take the time to hang up half the stuff I do. Really, I think that would rule the school (or my closet, anyway).

Anyway, maybe my closet is my true self. Maybe I just need to buy some hooks.