A few weeks ago, I had a dream that I was back in high school and my friends and I were standing around outside a church at a stake dance. A group of guys walked up and started talking to us. This is something that happened quite a few times in real life. Hanging out in the parking lot or the hallway, and running into that one guy. That was a moment. Or, it could be.

Of course the dream is a little fuzzy now, but we were hanging out. And, that one guy smiles at me and starts talking to me. The feeling of this in high school was great. Maybe it's the beginning of something, there's a bit of an electricity in the air, with the nervousness and the excitement and the hoping and all.

Well, in my dream that one guy is Jon Heder. Of Napoleon Dynamite fame. And, we start laughing and talking and everything's going really great. When suddenly, he remembers, "I'm married!" And, that's when it dawns on me that I'm married, too. David is instantly back in the picture.

The weird thing is, Heder then says, "I'm 26." And I say, "I'm 29." I guess it was the realization that high school is gone that made it necessary to say how old we were. When I woke up, it took me a minute to realize I'm not actually 29.

This dream reminds me of many things. One, how in your head you have to remind yourself how old you are. For the longest time, I was 25 in my head. Or, sometimes I still actually think it's 1985 or something. I did this just a few days ago. David said something about somebody who was 20 in 1965 and I said, "But they'd only be 40 now!" And, then I realized. No, this isn't 1985. They'd be 60.

It also makes me think of how weird it is to dream about someone you don't even know or care very much about. I mean, I like the movie Napoleon Dynamite, and I'm sure Jon Heder is a very nice person, but I've never given him a thought as a real person. I don't have a thing for Heder. Or, at least I don't think I do. My subconscious seems to be telling me otherwise.

I haven't dreamt about very many celebrities, but the ones I have don't really make a lot of sense. I dreamt once that Brad Pitt called me (I never actually saw the man) and left a message on my answering machine asking me to come live with him. I'm not sure what that says about me, but I'm pretty sure it's pathetic. Brad Pitt? I mean, sure, he's pretty, but why should I care?


I dreamt once that Ralph Fiennes and I were hanging out at a playground and holding hands. That one I can understand a little better than Brad Pitt. Er, actually, a lot better.