I have always believed in the power of prayer. I think its main purpose is to bring me closer to God. But, I have also believed there is the possibility of healing or helping others with prayer. I regularly pray for my children, family and friends.

I don't think of God as being someone who can be bribed or manipulated. I offer some good deeds, some tithing, and in exchange, CHA CHING, here's all those blessings I've earned. I don't think of it that way.

That bad things happen to good people (and good to bad) has never shook my belief in God. Part of making our own choices is that we each can make mistakes. Obviously, some of us make really horrendous choices and it affects innocent people, too. Terrible accidents or disease happen to people every day. I think these things are random.

But, I do want to believe I can help someone else with a prayer. I am not looking for a miracle (although I wouldn't turn one down), but maybe my prayer can make some small difference - bring someone peace, or help someone find the right answer somewhere.

I have been praying for two women I don't even know (yes, I found them through blogs). One just went through IVF for the umpteenth time and I have been praying that she will get and stay pregnant. Another woman is pregnant and her baby is threatening to come too early. I'm touched by their stories, I want to do something, so I pray. I know others are praying for them, too.

This got me thinking. Do these women have an edge over someone who doesn't have a network of people praying for them? Does God take stock in how many people pray? Is expecting my prayers to make a difference, to "work", the same as expecting a blessing in exchange for a good deed?

I'm not trying to be cynical with this question. I likely won't even find an answer and that's okay. I am not going to stop praying. I am not going to stop believing in God. But, I'm starting to think that maybe prayer doesn't work the way I thought. Or maybe it does, and it's alright that it's not fair. Life certainly isn't.