when it comes to the competition, i got none

I don't read much anymore. Nighttime used to be my time to read, but with this pregnancy it's my time to feel queasy and tired. In January I read Anne of Green Gables (at Grace's recommendation) and enjoyed it. I'm sure I would have loved it as a kid. I read Anne Tyler's Celestial Navigation and it was very good, but it took a little to get into it (everything and everyone was so musty and off, it just bothered me) and I was very dissatisfied with the ending. When I was first pregnant (but didn't know it yet), I read The Birthdays by Heidi Pitlor. It's a book about three siblings. The oldest son is dealing with his conflicting emotions about his wife's pregnancy (he is paralyzed and the wife was inseminated by a donor), the next oldest son's wife is pregnant with twins after IVF, and the youngest sister is pregnant but doesn't know who the father is. It was a good book, but not great. Each of the characters were very real, but flawed to the point where they were never very likeable.

After I found out I was pregnant with triplets, I read I Sleep at Red Lights by Bruce Stockler. It was a funny, enjoyable book about having triplets. I also read When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads, which has proven to be a useful resource.

My latest read was Raising Multiple Birth Children and I enjoyed it, but it gave me much more of a sense of panic. Most of the book portrays life with triplets as insanely hectic and outrageously hard. I'm not saying that I think it won't be, but I'm looking for tips on how to reduce that, not a medal for what I'm going to go through. There was this attitude of look how hard I have it as a parent. I understand that to a point (get together with any group of mothers and eventually you'll hear all the horror stories about their labors - you go through something like that, you want to talk about it). But, frankly, I'm kind of tired of the whole idea that parenting is some sort of a competition.

One quote that really bothered me was "I laugh when I see those singleton parents who look like sleep-deprived marathon runners with one child in their grocery cart." Excuse me? How can this person assume her life as a triplet mother is always harder? She doesn't know anything about that "singleton" parent. Maybe she has four more kids at home. Maybe her baby has colic. Maybe she is totally sleep-deprived.

They also made a big deal about the fact that people will tell you that they have an idea of what you're going through because they had three little ones in diapers, but "it's not the same". Sure, it's not the same, but it's close. And, for many, maybe even harder. My sister-in-law at one point had a two year old, a one year old, and a newborn. That's beyond tough. My hairdresser (and my good blogging friend, Jen) had a young toddler and newborn twins. I think that could be harder than triplets, because one is mobile. They are in different stages, which would be really hard.

And, all babies are different. If I have three babies like Lillie (she was always very content and slept through the night at just a few months old) it will be very different from three babies like Grace (she cried a lot, didn't sleep through the night consistently until she was two, and I walked her for miles and miles).

I guess we're all just trying to make sense of the world. But, I'm tired of adults trying to one-up each other with their stuff and their hardships and their choices. I suppose all I can do is try not to fall into that myself. Talk to me in five months, I guess.