Wednesday, October 01, 2008
10 years ago

Two and a half years old

10 years ago Lillie was born. I remember they handed her to me right away (Grace was whisked away and I didn't get to see her for a few minutes) and I remember getting cold while I was holding her. I don't know if it was her or me, but her body temperature was low when they checked her and they needed to take her away to warm her up. David went with while she was in the "french fry machine" as David called it. I wanted to be with her, too, but I was also really tired (I hadn't slept all night) and it was nice just to close my eyes for a while.

My sister-in-law brought my mom and Grace over and it was so nice to see Grace. Except suddenly her four year old self seemed very big next to the new little baby.

We left the hospital the next day and it was so nice to get back home. My mom stayed for probably a week or so. Lillie was such a different baby than Grace. She was just naturally happy and calm and she loved to sleep. Instead of screaming in her carseat, riding in the car just put her to sleep. By the time she was three weeks old she was sleeping from 8 pm to 6 am.

Something about Lille has always just made me laugh. She's just so cute and funny. When her hospital pictures arrived in the mail, her picture just made me laugh. And it surprised me a little because she already looked so different.

The last ten years have been such wonderful years because Lillie's been with us. My pregnancy with her was rough. I had hyperemesis and a bloodclot and there were a few days in the hospital when I wasn't sure if I was going to get to bring this little baby into the world. Or if I was going to get to see Grace grow up. I remember thinking about the possibility of dying and the weird thing was that for myself, I felt peaceful about dying. I looked back on my life and just felt grateful for everything that had happened to me in those 28 years. I didn't think about things I wished that I had done or places I wished that I had wanted to see or anything like that. I was simply thankful. For the family I grew up in, the friends I had made, the places I had been, the man I married and my daughter. I had a lifetime to be thankful for. When I thought of David and Grace - that was where death seemed unthinkable. For that little girl to lose her mom would have been devastating.

I'm so thankful for each day that I've had since then. And, today I am so thankful for Lillie. My smart, sweet, funny, amazing little girl.
posted by lochan | link
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Name: Laura

I have five kids including triplets. I'm too busy to blog, but I do anyway (uh, sometimes).

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