Friday, September 19, 2008
regrets
On a triplet forum, someone asked what regrets people had about the first year. Thre's not much point in dwelling on regrets, but for someone who hasn't gone through it yet, I think it's a great thing to talk about. Here's what I wrote.

We took our first video of the babies at six weeks (and I don't have any video of me when I was pregnant - lots of photos, but nothing captures that kind of thing like video would) We have plenty of video from then on, but we were just too much in a fog to even think about it. I wish we had more photos of them individually in the first few weeks. I also regret not having more pictures of me with the babies and with all three. I worried too much about whether or not I'd taken a shower and looked alright. One of my favorite photos now is a picture my husband took of me holding two of the babies when they were probably three weeks old. I look exhausted in it. Right after that he took another one and told me to smile. In the second one, I look happier, but the first one was the reality of what we were living.

In the early months, I would've asked for more help. There were a lot of people at my church who were willing to help. I got a list of names and phone numbers and I didn't call. I needed the help and they were willing to help, but everything was just so hard. If I did that again, I'd ask a friend to be a go-between and have THEM call.

I have regret about not breastfeeding longer (we made it to six months). I think if I had been pumping, we could've made it a little longer, but I think if I found myself in the same place it would probably go the same. Because I just had too darn much on my plate and something had to give.

What I don't regret is keeping a blog. I only wrote in it once a month to update on their progress, but that's twelve entries that mean the world to me now.

I don't regret getting cleaning services to clean my house. I don't regret letting my babies cry so that they could get on an awesome schedule (although it was really hard at the time). I don't regret letting lots (and I mean TONS) of stuff slide so I could just spend time with my babies. I don't regret choosing to go to the gym almost every day instead of getting more of that stuff done. I don't regret getting babysitters (after the babies go to bed, usually) so that my husband and I could go out with my two older daughters. They needed it and we did too (we still do).

There's so much more to be thankful for than to regret.
posted by lochan | link
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Name: Laura

I have five kids including triplets. I'm too busy to blog, but I do anyway (uh, sometimes).

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